MADELEINE EVE

“I can’t take a serious naked picture of myself. That’s just not who I am.” -Hannah

I like neeeeever post on here anymore but I need to just SAY SOMETHING about Girls on HBO. Everyone else in the freakin world already has, but whatev. I was watching the newest episode earlier (#4) and it was just so overwhelming how this show is essentially the first major, *genius*, funny/TRUE/meaningful work of art/culture to be entirely born of OUR generation. US! I feel so in on this! I remember being in like 6th or 7th grade, home sick from school, and sneak-watching Sex & the City because I wasn’t allowed to yet, and being at once enthralled/enchanted it with it, and of course, completely oblivious to every fucking thing going on. Watching Girls, now, is the opposite of that. Now, us, young women, are the storyline that society at large is acknowledging, celebrating actually! I hate (no actually I don’t hate at all really) to play the feminist card, but there is something so EFFING INVIGORATING about watching such a show - one totally relevant to our generation on the *cusp* - that is not only recognizing people our age as real/important, but specifically, WOMEN! GIRLS! There is nothing more new and wonderful and thrilling to me as an 18-year-old girl about to head off to college in a big city than seeing real, funny, well-spoken, beautiful, honest girls on TV, behaving the way girls actually do. Going through what girls actually ACTUALLY go through. Every single one of my girlfriends who’ve seen this show (IF U HAVENT GTFO OF TUMBLR N GO WATCH IT OMG WTF R U) has had a *moment* watching it, either dyyyyying of laughter or crying in the most sappiest of ways (usually both). WE HAVE ARRIVED.

Okay I’m not saying anything new here, I know it’s been said, blogged. But I just had to write this, vent this feeling because, OK -you know that moment, in the new ep, after Hannah/Lena/heaven-angel-goddess-on-earth has just delivered that incredible monologue (which you FEEL as she is saying it as if you yourself are saying the words too, because, you have, really, at some point, to some one, sort of, YOU KNOW IT) and then she goes inside and sleeps with Adam again, even after everything he’s done to her, even when he sucks so much, and though you realllllly don’t want her to, you know, watching, how OF COURSE she would, because that’s what always happens, when it’s you or one of your friends, all the time, as shitty as that is. And thennnn there’s that moment, that WONDERFUL IMPORTANT “LITTLE” moment when Lena/Hannah says that perfect line at the top of this post and then Adam, always an asshole, but the kind you believe she’d really like, is like “just be yourself then”. YOU KNOW THT PART????????!!!!! Well that little moment was EVERYTHING. Why? Because those little moments, those muttered  ”you DON’T have to take nude pics if youre not about them” nice things from horrible, selfish, manipulative, dumb/smart guys, are pathetic and sad to our moms since back in her day(s) real romance was like, getting pinned (????) or something, and having a BF that wants to marry you before you turn 17, or whatever. But for us, for OUR generation of girls, we have a new set of rules (more, non-rules), a new set of romance and everything else. And to us, the romance of a normally-elusive guy telling us to “just be ourselves” even if it’s in the context of texting nude pics, is what we get excited about. Text our friends about, write in our journals about, BLOG ABOUT, tweet about. Some might choose to despair at that idea, think that “real romance is dead” or something. But it’s not! It’s just different. And I love how the thrills and the chills of being in and out of relationships and friendships and everything else in life in Girls is portrayed exactly as it is, in all its banality and its exceptionality at once. That’s what our generation’s romance is, our youth, our happiness, our EXPERIENCE. Tweets and texts and blogs and the real stuff too - the dancing to Robyn with your best friend at 4 am. These are the things, like it or not, our generation’s memories are being made of. And I’m so fucking happy someone’s finally embracing it. 

#GIRLS

“My style icon is anyone who makes a bloody effort.”

-Isabella Blow

I got this quote from Tavi’s post today on Rookie. I could go on and on and on about how that entire piece resonates with me and defines my life philosophy in a way I never could articulate and how I agreeagreeagree with everything, completely, but I would just end up talking in circles and reiterating all of her *genius* Tavi points (I love you Tavi). Instead I’ll just move on to this one quote that I totally just feeeeeeeeeel so much.

I have realized that, in at least attempting to maintain this sense of confidence/poise/peace-with-myself Tavi talks about, by wearing what I want, liking what I want, saying what I want, doing what I want, I can get people riled up. I don’t mean this in like an I’M A REBEL WATCH ME STRUT DOWN THE HALLS IN A TEEN MOVIE SEQUENCE WITH THIS SONG PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND kind of way. *HEAR ME OUT*. I just mean that, when people look at me, clunking around in my “weird” thrift store platforms or ankle-length skirts, un-afraid of standing out- and in fact liking it- wearing my personality and individual *vibez* outwardly in a visual way (#style)…. well, then a lot of self-conscious self-deprecating pointing-out-of-differences starts happening. A lot of times I get little forced, un-funny quips about how I look “artsy” or “hipster” (the vaguest, dumbest, most nondescript, non-terms ever), or non-compliments such as: “That _____ is so…… I would never even think of wearing it… I mean, I could never pull that off!!”

Granted, sometimes, perhaps often, comments like these are meant by one girl as a genuine expression of admiration or celebration of another girl’s style or individuality. And it’s really nice. Other times - a lot of times- however, I feel like this is a controlled mini freak-out by a girl who wishes she could let herself go a little bit, and stray from the confines of the mainstream that allow her to seem “chill” and unpretentious (i.e., unthreatening and approachable). 

Like, a lot of times girls like compulsively excuse themselves constantly to Girls-Who-Make-A-Bloody-Effort for the sweatpants they’re wearing, or whatever. What bothers me about this is, I don’t give a fuck what you wear, really. I’m not over here in my grunge-librarian-of-the-late-80s look saying “girls who don’t care about fashion are worthless”, I’m just saying, at least wear whatever shit you’re wearing with some conviction. Actually, scratch that. It’s not *even* just about what you wear. At least present yourself - however you really like- with conviction. Like Isabella Blow, I respect effort. Effort doesn’t have to mean paying attention to culture or fashion or having a folder on your desktop of hundreds of saved photos of your stylish girl crushes. Effort is just about at least attempting to present to yourself in the mirror, and to the world, your ultimate. Your ultimate: what you think is the height of cool, beautiful, stylish, what have you. Maybe you don’t think you care about these things. Regardless, you present to the world not only a personality but a visual. Just be proud of it, be confident. If you’re into wearing those sweatpants with “PINK” on the ass, go for it, live it up!!!!!!!! That sounded facetious but it wasn’t meant to be. My point is: don’t ever apologize to me or anyone else for you not looking like my ultimate, or their ultimate, or Vogue’s ultimate, or fucking Tumblr’s ultimate, or whatever else. In the worlds of Lil’ Wayne (but slightly changed and a lot less misogynist, but sung to the same tune): I just fucking love every girl in the world….. and I think you should all do/wear what you damn please.

~ End Rant. ~

“Well, alright. Why is life worth living? That’s a very good question.

Well, there are certain things, I guess, that make it worth while. Like what….

Okay, for me, Oh, I would say Groucho Marx to name one thing. And Willie Mays.

And, the second movement of the Jupiter Symphony. 

And, Louis Armstrong’s recording of Potato Head Blues.

Swedish movies, naturally.

Sentimental Education, by Flaubert.

Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra.

Those incredible apples and pears by Cezanne. 

The crabs at Sam Wo’s.

Tracy’s face.”

-Woody Allen as Issac Davis, at the end of Manhattan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIugrczLUl0

One of the greatest endings to a movie. 

#topical

CECILE

Ronald is one of the few high school students attending Juliard. He’s composing his first opera!

RONALD

It’s based on the life of Doctor Martin Luther King.

CECILE

Doctor King is my favorite.

FFSS

This is a picture I took of my sister HANNAH (she looks hot in it)

Here are some facts about her:

1. She is obsessed with the 90s and Courtney Love and has been since before everyone else was (TRUTH.)

2. She is way funnier, more original, and more self-motivated than me or probably anyone else I know

3. Pretty much everything I do, she already did first at some point (ADMITTED IT, OKAY)

4. She loves this movie. Probably more than anyone else who ever saw it.

This corny a$$ post is because I just looked over at this older SIS of mine who has been on winter break for a million days so far (and she’s still not leaving anytime soon!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!) and wanted to *cry* at the thought of her ever heading back to Brooklyn. So I just felt like sharing with the world or at least the internet my luv 4 her. Also she will probably see this and feel weird. LOL WHATEVZ!

I like to make Hannah feel weird by constantly asking her if//telling her that we are “Friends First Sisters Second”, a term I either made up or heard somewhere that CLRLY means we are BFF more importantly than we are sisters (!!!!). I think she has finally accepted this fact.

Our relationship works so well mostly because I think each of us is really proud of the person the other is. Like, I freeeeeak out anytime I hear about how hard she is kicking ass at school/internships/life (SO HARD!), I brag about her to anyone who will listen (LIKE RIGHT NOW FOR INSTANCE !!!!), and listen to any story she tells in a state of “I-wish-I-could-be-as-naturally-captivating-as-you” awe. She acts proud of me (♥) by making me feel unbearably uncomfortable by sneaking pics of all of my outfits and giving me weird compliments in front of company! Yeeeeee!

Other key factors of our Friends-First-Sisters-Second-ship is that no one can/has ever made me laugh as hard as she does when she’s not even trying, and I am scientifically proven to be 100% more happy in general when she is around. (AwwwWws..)

Basicallllly, point is, my sister RULES and if you can’t brag about such things on bloogz (pronounced: blue-gz), where can you ??????????

#SISTAHPOWRRRR #LYLAS #LITERALLY #GIRLPOWR #XOXOX<333

There are so many parentheses in this post.

The best Girl News I have read in awhile

http://www.vice.com/read/girl-news-girls-and-staying-in

Okaaaaay, she’s still my hero.

*HIGHLIGHTS*

“It’s like in high school when clothes were essentially communal and I want to cry just thinking about how much I want that back, and not just when I am shuffling between bed and the bathtub.”

“‘To be unoffendable is, like, an incredible position of power’ ”

“Something I’m never going to understand AND DON’T WANT TO UNDERSTAND is people who can’t be alone. Makes a case for birth order as the most determining quality of life, more than class and more than where you grew up, right? Those of us who spent many hours by ourselves as kids will just not get this thing of, like, ‘Come over, I’m lonely.’ Staying in is about being by yourself, obviously.”

 Love her.

I love Nan Goldin so much

Amanda In The Locker Room, Berlin, 1993.

Rise And Monty Kissing, New York City, 1980.

The Hug, New York City, 1980.

C.Z. And Max On The Beach, Truro, Massachusetts, 1976.

Trixie On The Cot, New York City, 1979.

Boys i wanna find/date

Here is my list of 10 dream BFs that probably don’t exist in nature, if anyone was wondering. They’re not listed in order, I imaginary love them all equalllllly!!!!! Also I promise I am way less lame in person than this post will have you believe. Actually, no I can’t promise that. 

1. BLACK DUDE

I have never been able to figure out whether or not it’s racist/annoying when white girls are like “I’m into black guys” but, here I am, thought I’d just get it out of the way at the beginning. 

2. FUNNY JOCK

See: my last post. The jock/weirdo dynamic is obviously the cutest, but if you need further proof just refer to this 90s gem:

(She’s All That)

3. FOREIGNER

Preferably a really well-dressed one, or else what’s the point? I feel like European dudes (at least in my imagination) like, don’t wash their hair as much (????) which, duh, is hot. As long as they don’t have dandruff (barf!). Usually they also have good shoes and pants that fit them (figure this out, Americans).

4. BOXER/GUY IN BAND/OVERALL BADASS + ROCKSTAR★

Preferably British, but I guess that’s always sort of the case, isn’t it. There’s boxing in England right? *PRAYS* Boxing is the sexiest profession(?…) on the planet, for obbbbbvious reasons no one should ever have to explain, EVER EVER.

5. PRETENTIOUS ARTIST

Sculptors are best cause they have weird scars probably from using major tools and serious, heavy-duty materials, plus they are probably conceptual and weird and like to spontaneously run down the street to rummage through trash which now that I think about it, maybe only I think is charming…

6. COMEDIAN (!!!!)

Don’t care if they’re old, ugly, fat, or cute. Just…. can you even imagine the deep, dark, twisted depths that lie beneath their *so true*, insightful, LOL-worthy material? CAN YOU IMAGINE????? 

His glasses show he wants you to know the real him.

7. UNEDUCATED BOSTON CRIMINAL (????)

What I mean is not as creepy as the title sounds, okay. I watch a lot of Ben Affleck-type movies and for that reason I basically picture all ~rough~ Boston dudes with side-smiles, dimples and scruffy jawlines. However probably in real life most of them look a lot more inbred and dirty. But stilllll, that accent - !!!!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

 My ideal Ben-or-Casey Affleck/Matt Damon/Mark Wahlberg-in-The-Fighter look-alike would be a boxer (duh) and not a murderer, but maybe a bank robber I guesssss… :/  He would come back from brutal crime-doing and take me out for cannolis (?) or whatever. HA HA! cannolis.

 8. DORKY/SHY FILM/MUSIC/BOOK NERD

Works at an obscure, tiny film theater, used bookstore, video games store, or record store. Semi-pretentious, Kinda shy but once you get him talking he rambles at your dumb, bored face for at least 45 minutes straight about “graphic novels”, Tarantino, or, god forbid - J.R.R. Tolkein (sp?). I wouldn’t care though cause I’d just stare at his cute, (maybe beardy?), glasses-wearing face, LOL !!!!! #sethcohenforever

9. ROCK CLIMBER/GRANOLA-Y OUTDOORSY ADVENTUREY TYPE

YES to nice, soft-but-sturdy looking boots, flannel shirts, scruffy almost-beards, wintry hats and shaggy hair !!! I am an “indoor kid” (inactive, allergic to air, wind, sky, grass, etc.) but I would *totally* climb some mountains with one of those friendly types who knows how to save a dying babybird and loves nature more than he will ever love me or any other human. Sexxxy!! ! !!!! 

10. RYAN GOSLING

Sigh.

I can relate.

“The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me. Jocks like him always want freaky girls. Girls with horn-rimmed glasses and vegan footwear and Goth make-up….. Oh yeah, jocks eat that shit up.” - Juno

I sort of think this is true, probably partly because I WISH it were. Not that I’m into jocks or something and am like “OMGZ WAHHH WISH U WOULD NOTICE ME!!!” like in that Taylor Swift video where she is “dorky” because she wears big glasses, and evil because she has brown hair (?????), but I just feel like, wouldn’t it be kind of satisfying if all those dudes with the perfect Barbie girlfriends who spend like, endless time & money perfecting their *hot bods* and boring/subtly-slutty outfits, secretly had a thing for all the feminist girls in clunky lace-up boots and thrift store clothes?

I’m not trying to instigate any girl-on-girl hate, I’m just saying, high school is weird. Even though everyone likes/accepts each other more or less, people still get stuck in their little boxes. I guess I just like imagining that underneath that, people are less predictable; that maybe the Steve Rendazos actually do want to date the Junos, you know?

Fuck, I’m #inspirational today.